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Jersey Time

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There was an incident out on the Jersey Turnpike

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On the morning before Christmas Eve

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Involving dozens of cops, a runaway truck

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And a million people just like you and me

G

For half a bless-ed day in all directions

Everything stood just about stock still

Cause one of the troopers shot himself in the foot

The teamster ended up as a kill

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And you wonder how it could take

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Over 12 long lousy hours

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Just to pick up the pieces

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After they exercised their powers

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Oh it’s a mess, but somewhat less

Than a nuclear device

But it’s a crime how much time

             F

Is being wasted

How could they paralyze this network

Made of so many traffic lanes

Clog every single artery

Make Spaghetti out of all the veins

Where is the heart in all of this?

We know the foot sustained a blow

But why’s the brain knocked out of joint

It’s nowhere near the heel or toe  

This is a case of the anatomy

Behaving though it’s had a lobotomy

While the circulation turns to stone, just at

The moment everybody was a’heading home

Oh it’s a mess, but somewhat less

Than a nuclear device

But it’s a crime how much time

Is being wasted

You know it’s not that I don’t feel bad for the trooper

It’s a boring job and sometimes you get hurt

I just don’t understand why you’d shut down the east coast

On account of a shot in the dirt

I find I’m thinking ‘bout Granny and the little guys

As they fidget and fuss and the baby cries

And discomfort turns to anguish on account of your bladder

Your eyes and legs are crossed you get madder and madder

And I wonder how many people died

On the way to the doctor that day

How many ambulances wore their sirens out

Pretending this wasn’t happening this way

Oh it’s a mess, but somewhat less

Than a nuclear device

But it’s a crime how much time

Is being wasted

While you sit and count the hours

Kicked away for no good reason

Kiss good-by those precious moments used

To open the hunting season

So blame the system, what the hell

It doesn’t matter, you might as well

The car got overheated, maybe cracked the block

Investigators all on overtime were running up that clock

Well you say you don’t care, but than you discover,

While you were sitting there, you lost your lover

She burned all your Christmas presents in the fireplace

Figured you forgot about her, left without a trace

Oh it’s a mess, but somewhat less

Than a nuclear device

But it’s a crime how much time

Is being wasted

About a million people sat out there

On their ass, and scratched their heads

Listened to the details on their radios

Dreamt about hot dinners and warm beds

So the next time you’re out on the highway

Remember, not only speed can kill, if you

Get stopped out there don’t make a sudden move

Or reach in your pocket for a tranquilizer pill

Cause we don’t make the rules of the road, no way

We just try to stay calm, and in a pinch we pray

That if we lose it we don’t do it on the road

And give some cowboy an excuse to lock and load

Oh it’s a mess, but somewhat less

Than a nuclear device

But it’s a crime how much time

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Is being wa-sted, is being wa-sted, is being wa-sted,

                     C                F

Come on, let’s waste him…………….